So here I am a step ahead !!

I write when I am sad, I write when I’m upset or angry. I write to vent out my emotions.

I’ve tried to write in my happy bubbly mood so many times but, I always fail. I end up writing a line and then reading, re-reading it, editing it and god knows what not.

Maybe I’ve seen writing not an art but a way to deal with my emotions trying to tie down bits and pieces of my vulnerabilities. I cannot contain in to words my merrier days but I can articulate my sadness with all the ease and finesse.

It has been the loooongest pause on wordpress and it’s not because I’m not overwhelmed with emotions one day or another; I’m still a wreck somedays and a happy treat another but what I witness in my journey on being here is how I’ve evolved as an individual.

I’ve grown from being too dissolved in my negative emotions leading to panic attacks to being comfortable with these thoughts and approaching them with reason and emotion in a constructive manner. Life is a gift and we just need to accept the darkness to actually work towards coming out in search of light.

It’s when I accepted that I’m scared of heights, I actually got the strength to look down from the mountain cliff without screaming.

No, I did not just took a free fall but I took a step towards my greatest fear and it felt better than where I started from.

We don’t belong here

We don’t belong to the soils where we stepped our first foot. We don’t belong to the meadows that made our eyes twinkle the first time we felt it. We don’t belong to the playgrounds that taught us the art of making friends while running with a sense of freedom and at times falling down and scarring our knees. We don’t belong to the schools where we went on from shitting our pants to transforming into a man ready to enter the world. We don’t belong to the streets where the ties were stronger than the blood bonds.

When we talk about belongingness, we talk about home. The word “home” brings in a sense of happiness and serenity in our mind but when someone tells us there’s no place like home to go back to, how are we supposed to process this insight.

In the end I wanna go back home, after all these wandering and adventure I wanna go home and lye down in the arms of soil that raised me but there is no home.
There is no home !!

To each and everyone who has lost their homes for real or abstract. This one goes out for y’all.